We don’t often talk about doubt in church. Perhaps we don’t know what to do with doubt, or we are afraid of what it means to wrestle with God. But not only is doubt a normal part of our spiritual journey, times of wrestling can actually be some of the most fruitful seasons of our formation in Christlikeness.
As we begin our series exploring God’s invitation to wrestle, Carolyn Arends guided us so wonderfully in song, teaching, and practice. She shared about doubt from her own story and scripture.
Kingdom Practices
As we embrace the invitation to wrestle with God, how are you wrestling in this season? Where do you find doubt bubbling up from the gaps between what you expect from God and reality?
This week, would you continue to wrestle? Would you hold onto God as Jacob did? Would you consider what ‘center of strength’ you may need to surrender, and what you would ask for from God as you wrestle?
And if you don’t find yourself wrestling with God in this season, would you consider who in your life might be wrestling, and ask God how you might come alongside them in love and community?
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At the beginning of this post, you mention the seasons of wrestling often happen when we don’t feel close to God. My own struggle with remembering God’s presence, even when I feel distant, resulted in this brief journal entry…
MOMENTS
I sense Your Presence.
This precious and illusive Moment is tenuous. Yet I’m sure it is an immutable, if invisible, band that bonds us—You and me.
The Moment slips from my grasp in a heartbeat. Distraction has slithered in, unseen, unnoticed, then steals away, taking me with it. Dragging me back into worldly preoccupations.
I turn back, and the Moment is gone.
Lost.
My aching heart wills it to return. Disappointment, self-deprecation, regret bore into my soul, laughing, digging, clawing to gain a grip.
Then I remember. Nothing has changed.
My knowing destroys my assailants. They scream to a halt, then evaporate like mist.
You are here.
With me, in me.
Surrounding me, permeating me.
I am Yours.
You are mine.
The tiny window of opportunity has passed. The tender, fleeting Moment is gone.
You remain.
Knowing what I have, without sensing it, I wait.
I yearn.
Like a lover waiting for the next glimpse of her Love.
It will come. You are here, and the Moment with You will return.
— Dee Bright
This is beautiful, Dee. Thank you for sharing.